As a teenager, I lived for conversations about sex. Primarily because I was a saint by force growing up in the late 1990s, and my folks wouldn’t have it any other way. Who needed a chastity belt when I lived in one? My folks lived out in the country, never left the house for more than two hours, had bars on the windows, and blocked off the house’s bedrooms. I couldn’t get a dude in and out if I tried.
But I digress.
My discussions with my teenage friends mostly took cues from the great lovers of our time – Jodeci. Silk. Dru Hill. Ginuwine. Lil Kim. We swapped stories that often mimicked whatever R&B crooner was hot at the moment. Or whatever was on BET Uncut.
We often argued about the best ways of finally having sex or what we called “getting it in,” albeit safety and STDs often took a backseat to the actual deed. Becoming or getting someone pregnant often ended the conversation. Many of my male friends, however, often offered the tried and true technique that “their boy” used.
Intrigued, we’d ask them to reveal this secret.
“So what is it? A condom? Two?” I’d ask with a straight face.
“Naw, girl,” he’d say shaking his head with the wisdom of 1000 lovers past.
“It’s an unspoken rule. If you not carrying, you just pull out.”
Which is the same reaction I had when a friend of mine sent me a link to the song “She Said Don’t Cum in Me.” You’d think this joint was a spoof sketch from Dave Chappelle or The Boondocks.
A young woman soulfully croons the song’s title while the “rapper” spins a tale about “bottom bitches” and his bag of sexual tricks. The video had bikinis, beaches, bass, and candles. Yup, this is a perfectly fine example of a safe sex public service announcement if I ever did see and hear one.
Here’s what I don’t understand, folks. With all the scary shit surrounding sexual diseases and teenage pregnancy in the United States, is there really room for songs like this? Even scarier: these artists don’t need the radio to transmit this crap anymore. You got WorldStar, YouTube, and Twitter. I would say MySpace but…well, okay. . . Myspace. More importantly, you have a technologically savvy generation of youth.